Charlie's Angels vs. The Bionic Woman a Brilliant Idea, Poorly Executed

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Charlie's Angels vs. Bionic Woman

When it comes to licensed properties, Dynamite Comics is the king, having had success with MARS ATTACKS, VAMPIRELLA, RED SONJA, THE EVIL DEAD, and many others.

But for whatever reason, CHARLIE'S ANGELS is cursed.

The first miniseries was something less than a train wreck. A train wreck, because it was a horrible mess; something less than because even a train wreck will keep your attention.

Now there's what should be a sure-fire hit--the collision of two potentially great licensed properties. Collision is the write word because, once again, train wreck. But I have to try it, because it's CHARLIE'S ANGELS VS. THE BIONIC WOMAN. Not "meets," but "versus." Which basically pits three well-trained fighters against a superpowered heroine who has fought off small armies.

The Angels are put onto an assignment when a military contractor acquires a secret chemical fomula which could result in groundbreaking medical breakthroughs -- or create super weapons. The owner has decided he wants it back, and somehow has the legal claim to it but can't get it through standard means. He's already hired one trio of agents who were repelled, so the Angels have to be especially on guard for this assignment: getting the formula back to its original owner.

The story takes place in 1983. Xerox machines made it into offices in 1959. But apparently this government contractor has the only handwritten copy of a formula and they keep it locked in a safe next to the Colonel's list of eleven herbs and spices, the recipe for Bush's baked beans, and the mixture for Coca-Cola classic. (To be clear, there is no scene in this issue of a safe or a written formula, but what else are they stealing?)

Naturally, they run up against the contractor's security, the same security that repelled the last agency: Jaime Sommers, the Bionic Woman! Come back for the next issue when the battle is joined. Should take a panel or three.

For all that the nut of the plot hinges on people not making backup copies of written text, the rest of the story is decent enough fare, with the angels fighting and flirting their way through obstacles, so in that respect Cameron DeOrdio is doing okay. However, the characters artistically represented here by Soo Lee are neither Charlie's Angels nor the Bionic Woman. There is zero resemblence in these hastily drawn, angular caricatures to Kelly, Julie, Kris, or Jaime. (Kris? She looks less like Kris than she did Jill!)

The story is basic and the art is distracting. What sells this book is the nostalgia and the crossover concept. And it's a great concept to explore, given that back in the day we didn't get television show crossovers like the CW offers up annually now. It's an idea that deserved much better than it got.

 

Grade: 
2.5 / 5.0