Star Wars: Millennium Falcon Book and Mega Model -- A Lesson in Frustration

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Millenium Falcon Book and Model

If you have high blood pressure or low stress thresholds, be warned. This book is probably not for you.

No, that's not a knock on the last STAR WARS film, SOLO, which doesn't even come into play in the historical timeline presented in this book. I haven't even seen that film to comment on it. (It does include milestones from THE FORCE AWAKENS, which I have seen, but I'm not going to hold that against the book either.)

No, the triggering factors of this book are not what you read out of it, but what you punch out of it.

You see, while this is a rather thick book, the reading portion is not that many pages. The rest of the book is cardboard pages with perforated sections that, when following the instructions in order, ostensibly can be assembled into a 3D replica of the Millennium Falcon itself.

Provided, of course, you have patience, skill, patience, and probably a half a tube of super glue. Also, patience.

We -- the junior and myself -- sat down with the intent of assembling this beast. It was to be, for him, a lesson in following instructions in sequential order. For me, it was a chance to play with STAR WARS toys.

It was the perfect storm.

About a fourth of the way through, we realized that the pictured slots on the core of the ship didn't match what we were holding in reality. So it was time to back up and start rotating the thing through myriad angles until we found one that was close to the picture. (Turned out it only showed the slots you needed for the assembly step, not all the slots that were present.)

Okay, minor hiccup. But now we were on our way. Until we put the left and right sections on upside down.

Fortunately, that was discovered quickly enough. The thing was starting to take shape. 

And then pieces started coming off as we started putting other pieces on. That's a hazard of cardboard construction.

Nevertheless, we persisted.

We got to parts S, T, and U. And wedging those tabs into the slots was done with all the elegance of a Wookiee doing embroidery. Parts flew off all sides like the thing had been hit by a Star Destroyer -- and not a cardboard one!

The final destination was the trash compactor.

Now, if you're an expert modeler with cardboard and paper, you may have better luck than we did. I can only report on the experience we had, which, admittedly, had more to do with skill than with publishing.

If considering this book, feel the Force within you. If it laughs, move on.

3.0 / 5.0