Once (More) Upon a Time with Kiersten White's Bean Stalker

Looking for a WICKED good read that will leave you FROZEN with fear while TANGLED up in a ball of laughter? Then you'll be ENCHANTED with these BEASTLY tales from Kiersten White (PARANORMALCY).

Surely you've read enough fairy tales that...

Scratch that. This is 2017. What was I thinking?

Take two.

Surely you've seen enough movies based on fairy tales (yes, that's much more millenial) that you've noticed trends that have caused you to ask questions. Like, "Just how many evil queens are there?" and "Did everyone name their son Jack?" And even, "What kind of twisted mind would think of doing all these horrid things to innocent (but oh-so-brave) children?"

If you're familiar with the old cartoon shorts, FRACTURED FAIRY TALES (you're not, because you're not that old, so here's an informative little link to Wikipedia), then these stories are something like that. Trust me. I'm old. I'm like Gandalf. The one from the movie based on the book you never read.

What Kiersten White has done with BEAN STALKER AND OTHER HILARIOUSLY SCARY TALES is weave all the old stories together into a singular, cohesive story where you finally get the answer to those questions you asked two paragraphs back. She does so while using the perspective of a narrator who is not only omniscient, but opinionated, judgemental, cautionary, and sometimes terrified. It's kind of what I'm doing here, only she does it so much better. Which is why she makes more money.

(Note to self: Ask for raise.)

What's up with Snow White's skin, anyway? Was there more than just water fetching going on up that hill? And does your castle lack curb appeal if it doesn't have a tower for locking up whatever it is you have that needs to be locked up (with no questions asked)? You may find these things out in BEAN STALKER. Or you may just be immensely entertained. The latter would be far better. You really don't want the former. (Too bad, you'll be getting both.)