Syfy's Christmas Icetastrophe One Dickens of a Disaster

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Submitted by RJ Carter on Thu, 12/18/2014 - 13:01

As I write this, Christmas isn't quite the day after tomorrow... but CHRISTMAS ICETASTROPHE is.

The small town of Lennox, which is celebrating Christmas with artificial snow and a farewell to the small business of its downtown district in the wake of a buyout by mogul Ben Crooge (Mike Dopud), is ready for anything except a meteor strike. But this is no ordinary shooting star. It splits in two as it enters the atmosphere, and the part that lands on nearby Mount Dickens is cold. Really cold. So cold that it causes ice crystals to start spiking up through the ground, lacking only the cold voice of Jor-El to tell us how life used to be on Krypton. With each rumble of the ground comes a new wave of a flash freeze, turning several poor denizens to ice sculptures that sometimes break into pieces when you look at them.

The sensible person is Charlie Ratchet (Victor Webster, Continuum), who works for Crooge. He knows the important thing is protecting the citizens and helping them evacuate -- and then he's going to fix this weather problem, with the help of a grad student, Alex Novak (Jennifer Spence, Continuum). As they piece together the clues for fixing this climate change issue (if you've already seen THE DARK CRYSTAL, we can recite the prophecy poem together after the movie), Ben's son, Tim Ratchet (Richard Harmon, The 100) goes out to rescue his Romeo-and-Juliet forbidden love, Marley Crooge (Tiera Skovbye, Painkiller Jane).

CHRISTMAS ICETASTROPHE is heavy on special effects -- at least a singular special effect -- but its pseudoscientific problem and solution...well, they make the resolution to SHARKNADO appear logical (although the protagonists have obviously seen the film, given some of their attempts to changing the weather). It's dumb schlock, with a low-B movie plot acted out by some extremely talented actors who somehow manage to elevate the story into something you can't stop watching. Will it be an annual tradition? Probably not. But it will definitely get eyeballs, and a ton of good-humored snark from viewers who get that they're not signing on for CITIZEN KANE.