Movies

BATKID BEGINS isn't an overly lengthy documentary. However, it did take me several atempts to watch it. I blame a manufacturer's defect in the disc, that caused the image to go blurry after five minutes or so of watching it (and which somehow made everything else I looked at blurry as well until I wiped my eyes).

Okay, I admit it -- I'm turning into a lachrymose old softie in my old age. Part of it has to do that I have a young boy of my own now, and when I see stories like this it's easier to put myself into their roles.

The story centers on young Miles, a little boy diagnosed with leukemia. During his treatment, he ends up qualifying for the Make-A-Wish program, and his wish is to be the real Batman. Superhero wishes are things that Make-A-Wish has worked out in the past, but this time they decided to think big -- and transform San Francisco into Gotham City for a day.

The charge is "STAR WARS has dumbed down the perception of science fiction in the popular imagination." Jeff Ritter of CriticalBlast.com represents the Prosecution. 

The very notion of STAR WARS being somehow responsible for “dumbing down” modern science fiction seems preposterous. Of course, the notion is not entirely objective—how does one quantify merit or mediocrity in art, which by its very nature is subjective? How does one quantify the tangible effect of a film from 1977, that wasn’t expected to do much business itself, has had on movies, television, video games, novels, graphic  arts, American and even global pop culture more than 30 years later? I’m sure somebody with a better mind for statistical analysis could find numbers to crunch in this regard, but I find it to be less of a matter of arithmetic and more of a matter of personal taste. Since I can only speak for myself, allow me to take you on a little flashback to the halcyon days of my youth.

In the past few weeks Paramount announced they were developing a remake of the THE MAN WHO SHOT LIBERTY VALANCE.  Say what you want about all of the remakes cinema churns out these days, most of them are pale copies of the originals.  Occasionally, though, you get a film that’s of comparable quality or even superior to the original.  I don’t know what the future holds for the VALANCE remake, but I’ll tell you, if the producers make a film that even approaches the original, well, look out, there’s a spectacular film in the offing.

It’s impossible to write a review of a documentary about Elliott Smith without it becoming deeply personal.  That’s apt, because his solo career was one of deeply personal lyrics and the intimacy of a man alone with only his guitar.

            I was really interested in viewing this documentary because my knowledge of Elliott Smith was rather limited.  I knew he had a rough adolescence, played in a band prior to his solo act, and had committed suicide.  Also, I was aware that he was struggling with his fame from his career.  On the album EITHER/OR, he sings, “I’m so sick and tired of all these pictures of me/Completely wrong/Totally wrong.”

SAN ANDREAS on Blu-ray and DVD is a non-stop action movie that takes place basically in San Francisco and areas along the…you guessed it, San Andreas Fault line.

There is not a lot of back story here, as the movie starts with tremors happening within the first couple of minutes. Then the basics of the story are revealed through a college classroom dissertation on seismic activity by Caltech Seismologist Lawrence Hayes (Paul Giamatti), talking about the biggest earthquakes in history, and that it is more important than ever to be able to predict where they will happen to save lives. A young associate of the professor figures out how the tremor felt at the beginning of the movie could possibly predict a larger one by using the model they developed, and while testing it at Hoover Dam…well, I don't want to spoil things, but I bet you can guess what happens next.

The Peanuts gang may not be the most intricately animated group of cartoon kids, but they're certainly enduring. Their somewhat sedate pacing and thoughtful observations have made them a mainstay of our Halloweens, Thanksgivings and Christmases for decades.

In 1980, the team of Bill Melendez and Phil Roman brought Charles Schulz's comic strip tykes to the big screen (although not for the first time) in a full length adventure, BON VOYAGE, CHARLIE BROWN (AND DON'T COME BACK). It's a tale that finds Charlie Brown, Linus, Peppermint Patty and Marcie (and, of course, Snoopy and Woodstock) traveling to France as part of a student exchange program. This comes just after Charlie Brown has received a mysterious letter from a French girl named Violette, inviting him to come stay at the Chateau Mal Voisin -- the Home of the Bad Neighbor.

I’m actually kinda tired tonight, so here’s hoping I can last through this. I had nothing queued up, and so I’m digging through Netflix, wishing I was using my PS4 so I could entertain myself by yelling at Max (the “help you find something” feature that never finds you anything that I’ve only used on PS3, so I’m actually not sure it works on PS4), but alas, on my Xbox, so I’m digging and I see something in the popular section called Dark Was the Night, and that will be the winner.

Lumberjacks. The movie opens up with trees being cut down and turned into sawdust, and I’m thinking, “IS DEXTER HERE?!” And now everything is all quiet, people are heading home for the weekend, and one guy is on his walkie looking for his buddy Jesse who isn’t answering. Zoom in on that walkie and it’s just laying on the ground. A hand reaches out to grab it, but there’s static and the dude gets in his car to go see what’s up.

Time for my first haunted house movie of the season (because fuck The 13th Unit), and I can’t say I know much about this one, but hey, that’s half the fun of this. This one’s called We Are Still Here, and I’m hoping for something with legitimate horror.

Winter. That’s my takeaway from this opening scene, that it’s winter. Snow everywhere, and one car, so it’s winter in a really quiet area. Older couple, the woman looks like she’s been crying, and they’re moving. He looks like a high school science teacher. The house is old, middle of nowhere, and the wife finds a picture to hold on to tightly. She winds up putting it on a table in the hall, and it’s a younger guy that I’ll assume is their son.

What I really can’t tell is whether or not is how new this house is, since either that picture was there when they got there, she just used the frame, or I’m totally missing something.

As GOOSEBUMPS prepares to roll out into theaters, today, October 8, is the birthday of the legendary author behind the series that's been chilling children for years, R.L. Stine.

So please join with us -- and Jack Black and Slappy -- in wishing Stine a happy (and someone creepy) birthday!

goosebumps-swat-Happy Birthday RL Stine JB Slappy 720_scc_h264 from Critical Blast on Vimeo.

Photo: (L-R) R.L. Stine, Jonathan Munro, and Critical Blast's own roving reporter, Tavis Munro.

Before I talk about Magic Mike XXL (Blu-ray combo pack, available now!), let’s talk about Magic Mike – the original movie that started it all.

I loved Magic Mike. The attempt at a plot was weak, and the story was dreary, but that didn’t stop me from loving the movie. After all, Channing Tatum? Stripping his clothes off and dancing? With a bunch of other ripped dudes? Sign. Me. Up.

So now fast forward three years to Magic Mike’s triumphant return in the form of Magic Mike XXL. This movie has more dancing, more hot guys, and a cheerier storyline that was both fun and heartfelt. Therefore, it’s safe to say that I liked this one even more!

Plot spoilers ahead. But let’s be real, you don’t watch Magic Mike XXL for the plot.

Wow. That’s all I have to say about tonight’s choice, and the fact that I’m starting it at almost three in the morning. I’ve been doing this movie thing for a few years now, though without the reviews, and this is a movie I’ve been passing up since the beginning. No real reason, I mean, I always look at it and say “Eh, maybe tomorrow”, but you know what? IT’S TOMORROW RIGHT NOW! It’s time for ATM! No, it’s not a porn, it’s an actual horror movie about people at an ATM.

God help me.

Some dude is checking out maps of the highway and a parking lot, working out all the angles (literally, he’s even drawing lines with a ruler and pen). Like, dude is putting in the work for, what I assume, is murders at an ATM on this map. He’s all shadowy, and he puts on a hooded parka (like Cold in Flash) over a hoodie, for double the head covering. Dude is MYSTERIOUS.

Happy music and trains during the credits. And Santa jingling for the Salvation Army.

Day three! Otherwise known as the night I realized that I had yet to set up a queue on Netflix! Seriously, going through the list on my Xbox is one star this, PG-13 that. Fuck that. PG-13 horror is for kids. Though I will say that the storage unit movie sounds appealing, yes, I found another one called. This one is called Storage 24, and the bad guy is aliens, and maybe I’ll do it in a few days, but for now, Would You Rather!

Would You Rather, now that’s a game I haven’t played in years. Or sober.

Hot blonde interviewing at a restaurant, no experience, apparently had to come back home to take care of her brother. Job isn’t much, but she seems to get it.

Day two of Greytober is upon us, and I’ve got another movie! I have not a damn clue what it’s about, and I don’t know if it’s any good, but hey, that’s half the fun, right? What is The 13th Unit?

Oh goody, the movie starts with ominous music over background text. Something about mutilated bodies in Chicago in 1937, and them all being suspects in a robbery. A robbery of ancient artifacts! The killer and artifacts were never found, and the case went unsolved. Fast forward to NOW!

Storage lockers and squeaky noises. Someone getting ready for an auction? Where’s Barry? Alright, this guy doesn’t look too happy, looks like he had a bad day at work. Then there’s a dude brushing his teeth, and now we’ve got a couple where the guy is getting kinda handsy for a public storage locker. Death must be imminent.

Here’s a formula you wouldn’t expect to work very often in cinema and television: an entire show centered around one person trying to survive in a hostile environment with only his wits and found materials to help them through. And yet it’s been done before, notably by Tom Hanks in CAST AWAY and more recently by Sandra Bullock in GRAVITY. This time its acclaimed director Ridley Scott is putting the hero though hardship after hardship in THE MARTIAN, an adaption of the popular novel by Andy Weir. Starring Matt Damon as astronaut Mark Watney, a biologist who is part of a manned expedition to Mars, THE MARTIAN is fantastically crafted science fiction and proof that Ridley Scott still has the directorial chops to make must see cinema.

Welcome to Greytober! The annual celebration of my favorite month, where I watch my favorite genre to ridiculous excess and remind myself that I’m incredibly desensitized! Last year I managed fourteen movies, despite not starting my marathon until the second week of October. This year? This year I’m going to kill that. First up...The Town That Dreaded Sundown!

So apparently this is a sequel/remake to a movie I’d never heard of, which I didn’t know until I went to look up the opening scene of the town watching...The Town That Dreaded Sundown. I can dig it, meta-horror can be good; look at Scream and Scream 4.

The BH Productions animation before the movie is great, and I wasn’t aware of how many of their movies I’d already seen, or how many were on my ‘watch this month’ list.

Entourage is basically just high-end mindless entertainment, which is what the show always was to me.  If you’re willing to just let yourself go for two hours without carrying any social agenda, you will probably enjoy it.

I'm probably the only person in the world who sat down to watch the Blu-ray release of MARVEL'S AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON who had, in fact, not seen the movie in theaters (or, indeed, at all). But I was excited! All that hype, all that action, all those heroes!

And it certainly delivered the spectacle. The dialogue was spot-on for the banter I would expect from this team, the visual effects were stunning, the choreographed fight scenes were amazing.

Blue Sky Studios and 20th Century Fox have debuted a brand new trailer for the upcoming THE PEANUTS movie. As part of their marketing campain, they've also set up a website where everyone can 'Peanutize' themselves! It's a clever idea to get people to share how they would look in the world created by Charles Shulz. Each image comes stamped with the movies release date to keep it in the front of everyone's minds as the viral campaign looks to invade social media. You have the option of saving your image as an avatar and as wallpaper for your desktop.

Your personal peanuts pressman has perpetrated his own picture for posterity

From the press release:

Today, we are wrapping up our coverage of JOURNEY TO STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS.  

Like the last two reviews I did, these books are both classified as Young Adult books. SMUGGLER’S RUN stars Han and Chewbacca. LOST STARS introduces two new characters that have a major impact on the STAR WARS universe. More on that later.